Moving On

Whilst I'm not ready to talk about what's happened with regards to my FIPs (former Intended Parents) publically, I want to talk about how I'm doing this far out post-partum.

Physically I'm feeling fine, all the baby making bits seem to be working as before - I've had 3 AFs and all have been as expected and it appears I'm ovulating on a regular basis as before so that's all good. Nothing broken!

Mentally I'm doing okay, with everything that's happened I have been a bit up and down at times, as you'd expect but for the most part I feel good! Most importantly, no regrets still about my first journey.

I do think about Oliver and how he's doing, I no longer receive updates but I know he'll be just fine. I thought I'd feel sad about that part of the breakdown of the relationship and I was upset at first but now it's just how it is - I'm more upset that a promise was broken and that my children have been affected by that but I've explained that that's just how things happen sometimes but that Oliver will be doing well.

Looking forwards, I definitely want to do another journey and now we're almost half a year post-birth, I feel that I'm able to make the decision about that with clarity and certainty and know that it's the right one. It has nothing to do with moving on and forgetting my first journey, I just have the over-whelming urge to do it all over again and help make another family complete and frankly, I think I'm pretty darn awesome at doing it too!

So, the search for my next couple has begun and I've made some lovely contacts. I seem to be a lady in demand currently which is nice, not least because it's always flattering to be wanted but also because it means I have the opportunity to really get to know a couple and make sure that the fit is right for me. I've decided that if anything feels wrong then I have to move along, no matter how awful I may feel for letting potential IPs down - I've done things the wrong way in the past and I don't want to repeat those mistakes and if that means being a little more selective and somewhat selfish in who I choose then so be it I'm afraid.

When I have something to report, of course I'll be back to update but until then it is just networking and making new friends - neither of which you can do too much of in the surrogacy world.