8th November is the date! No idea if Cafcass will speak with me in person or over the phone first, the court lady said to just wait and see what happens but that's the date of the next hearing. The lady said it was 'the final hearing' but on my paperwork, it simply says 'directions hearing', which is what the first hearing in Bristol in July said...
So ready for this to be over and November seems so far away - though I know it's really not. Weird to think I'll of had 2 babies almost within 12 months! I just HOPE this is the final hearing and the PO will be granted then and we can close the book on our journey.
Sunday, 8 September 2013
Thursday, 22 August 2013
Here It Is!
My new blog, I would love it if you followed along as you have done on this one!
Czech Mate Surrogacy
Czech Mate Surrogacy
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
No Title
I was passing through this blog, on the way to my new one which will be revealed in a short while but I saw how quiet this one has now become. I am so jaded by how things have gone now with this journey that I haven't even had the energy to update properly.
Basically, in a nutshell, my (now former) IFs ended up being asses at the end - just as they had been pretty much all the way through our match, on and off. It wasn't all bad and we of course have the beautiful Oliver as a result but yeah, it was pretty shit at the end.
It all boils down to borrowing of some money, control issues, lying, manipulation, more drama and a whole lot of acting less than nicely.
It completely soured everything, I just thought that after all I'd done and given them, they would never of behaved in that manner. I can't say I was 100% blameless, I'm not smug enough to say that but pretty close to it.
Yes, e-mails have since been exchanged and apologies were issued but it got so disgustingly awful for a while that I'm not sure any amount of apologies can make that better which is unfortunate as we all had different expectations and higher hopes but when you continually make bad decisions and tread down a path, like they did then you cannot expect a sorry or 2 can smooth it all over. I simply cannot forget or forgive.
Anyway, despite that we have been trying to get the Parental Order sorted but even that seems to of turned into a bloody nightmare and it's just going on and on. I can't help but be resentful that if they had put the application in sooner, we would be all finished and signed off by now but yet again, even that ended up a total clusterfuck.
For some reason, the judge has transferred it to my IFs local court - you would of thought that at some point prior to the actual hearing, someone in the system would of said 'hmmm, shouldn't this be heard there and not here?' but nope, no-one did and so from what I'm lead to believe, I should of received some paperwork regarding that move and what happens next but no, nothing and it's been a good few weeks now. I refuse to chase anything up, I can't make anything move quicker anyway and all it does it irritate me all over again so here I sit, waiting for the next step and hoping it happens sooner rather than later because I am done, so very done and want the official line drawn under the whole thing I'm afraid. This was not how I envisaged the final chapter turning out.
I'm pretty glad with hindsight that I didn't come bleating here about every little (although not so little actually) thing that has happened between IFs and I since Oli arrived because it would of been seen as dramatic and not kind but this way, I can say simply that it has been a horrid time, lots of tears and sleepless nights for me but fingers crossed it is all coming to a conclusion in the very near future and lots of lessons have been learnt.
Basically, in a nutshell, my (now former) IFs ended up being asses at the end - just as they had been pretty much all the way through our match, on and off. It wasn't all bad and we of course have the beautiful Oliver as a result but yeah, it was pretty shit at the end.
It all boils down to borrowing of some money, control issues, lying, manipulation, more drama and a whole lot of acting less than nicely.
It completely soured everything, I just thought that after all I'd done and given them, they would never of behaved in that manner. I can't say I was 100% blameless, I'm not smug enough to say that but pretty close to it.
Yes, e-mails have since been exchanged and apologies were issued but it got so disgustingly awful for a while that I'm not sure any amount of apologies can make that better which is unfortunate as we all had different expectations and higher hopes but when you continually make bad decisions and tread down a path, like they did then you cannot expect a sorry or 2 can smooth it all over. I simply cannot forget or forgive.
Anyway, despite that we have been trying to get the Parental Order sorted but even that seems to of turned into a bloody nightmare and it's just going on and on. I can't help but be resentful that if they had put the application in sooner, we would be all finished and signed off by now but yet again, even that ended up a total clusterfuck.
For some reason, the judge has transferred it to my IFs local court - you would of thought that at some point prior to the actual hearing, someone in the system would of said 'hmmm, shouldn't this be heard there and not here?' but nope, no-one did and so from what I'm lead to believe, I should of received some paperwork regarding that move and what happens next but no, nothing and it's been a good few weeks now. I refuse to chase anything up, I can't make anything move quicker anyway and all it does it irritate me all over again so here I sit, waiting for the next step and hoping it happens sooner rather than later because I am done, so very done and want the official line drawn under the whole thing I'm afraid. This was not how I envisaged the final chapter turning out.
I'm pretty glad with hindsight that I didn't come bleating here about every little (although not so little actually) thing that has happened between IFs and I since Oli arrived because it would of been seen as dramatic and not kind but this way, I can say simply that it has been a horrid time, lots of tears and sleepless nights for me but fingers crossed it is all coming to a conclusion in the very near future and lots of lessons have been learnt.
Friday, 9 August 2013
Waiting
Once again, nothing really to report. The PO paperwork has been submitted and the preliminary hearing, to assign the CAFCASS officer went ahead a week or so ago now and so it's a matter of waiting for them to get in touch and going through the motions.
I believe Oli is doing well and thriving, but things continue to be strained to be honest unfortunately.
Meanwhile things are taking off for me in another direction and keeping me and my mind busy and helping to soothe past experiences.
Sorry it's a short post again but I truly have nothing to report at this stage!
I believe Oli is doing well and thriving, but things continue to be strained to be honest unfortunately.
Meanwhile things are taking off for me in another direction and keeping me and my mind busy and helping to soothe past experiences.
Sorry it's a short post again but I truly have nothing to report at this stage!
Friday, 28 June 2013
Calm
I have nothing to report on to be honest, as far as I'm aware the paperwork for the Parental Order was submitted to the courts and I've heard nothing yet.
I have no real contact with my former IPs and so have nothing to update about in that regard.
As for me, I'm well and still look back at Oli fondly. Do I wish a lot of things had been different? Of course. Do I wish the outcome had been? Not at all. I've got a new blog but am keeping it private for now but will share in due course, pretty much similar to this blog but with a twist. ;o)
If and when things move forwards with the PO, I'll be back with an update about the process!
I have no real contact with my former IPs and so have nothing to update about in that regard.
As for me, I'm well and still look back at Oli fondly. Do I wish a lot of things had been different? Of course. Do I wish the outcome had been? Not at all. I've got a new blog but am keeping it private for now but will share in due course, pretty much similar to this blog but with a twist. ;o)
If and when things move forwards with the PO, I'll be back with an update about the process!
Monday, 20 May 2013
Moving On
Whilst I'm not ready to talk about what's happened with regards to my FIPs (former Intended Parents) publically, I want to talk about how I'm doing this far out post-partum.
Physically I'm feeling fine, all the baby making bits seem to be working as before - I've had 3 AFs and all have been as expected and it appears I'm ovulating on a regular basis as before so that's all good. Nothing broken!
Mentally I'm doing okay, with everything that's happened I have been a bit up and down at times, as you'd expect but for the most part I feel good! Most importantly, no regrets still about my first journey.
I do think about Oliver and how he's doing, I no longer receive updates but I know he'll be just fine. I thought I'd feel sad about that part of the breakdown of the relationship and I was upset at first but now it's just how it is - I'm more upset that a promise was broken and that my children have been affected by that but I've explained that that's just how things happen sometimes but that Oliver will be doing well.
Looking forwards, I definitely want to do another journey and now we're almost half a year post-birth, I feel that I'm able to make the decision about that with clarity and certainty and know that it's the right one. It has nothing to do with moving on and forgetting my first journey, I just have the over-whelming urge to do it all over again and help make another family complete and frankly, I think I'm pretty darn awesome at doing it too!
So, the search for my next couple has begun and I've made some lovely contacts. I seem to be a lady in demand currently which is nice, not least because it's always flattering to be wanted but also because it means I have the opportunity to really get to know a couple and make sure that the fit is right for me. I've decided that if anything feels wrong then I have to move along, no matter how awful I may feel for letting potential IPs down - I've done things the wrong way in the past and I don't want to repeat those mistakes and if that means being a little more selective and somewhat selfish in who I choose then so be it I'm afraid.
When I have something to report, of course I'll be back to update but until then it is just networking and making new friends - neither of which you can do too much of in the surrogacy world.
Physically I'm feeling fine, all the baby making bits seem to be working as before - I've had 3 AFs and all have been as expected and it appears I'm ovulating on a regular basis as before so that's all good. Nothing broken!
Mentally I'm doing okay, with everything that's happened I have been a bit up and down at times, as you'd expect but for the most part I feel good! Most importantly, no regrets still about my first journey.
I do think about Oliver and how he's doing, I no longer receive updates but I know he'll be just fine. I thought I'd feel sad about that part of the breakdown of the relationship and I was upset at first but now it's just how it is - I'm more upset that a promise was broken and that my children have been affected by that but I've explained that that's just how things happen sometimes but that Oliver will be doing well.
Looking forwards, I definitely want to do another journey and now we're almost half a year post-birth, I feel that I'm able to make the decision about that with clarity and certainty and know that it's the right one. It has nothing to do with moving on and forgetting my first journey, I just have the over-whelming urge to do it all over again and help make another family complete and frankly, I think I'm pretty darn awesome at doing it too!
So, the search for my next couple has begun and I've made some lovely contacts. I seem to be a lady in demand currently which is nice, not least because it's always flattering to be wanted but also because it means I have the opportunity to really get to know a couple and make sure that the fit is right for me. I've decided that if anything feels wrong then I have to move along, no matter how awful I may feel for letting potential IPs down - I've done things the wrong way in the past and I don't want to repeat those mistakes and if that means being a little more selective and somewhat selfish in who I choose then so be it I'm afraid.
When I have something to report, of course I'll be back to update but until then it is just networking and making new friends - neither of which you can do too much of in the surrogacy world.
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
Brief Hello, Big Warning
It's been a while since I was last here and this one will be short at present but things have turned sour between K, B and I unfortunately and they have made things awkward and unncessarily complicated with regards to literally signing the dotted line so we can finish the journey and get the Parental Order paperwork signed off.
I cannot say any more at this time but all my readers know that I am open about everything to do with surrogacy, good or bad and this is no different but due to the nature of what's happening, I do not feel comfortable at this point to type the whole sorry saga out.
I know they have restricted their blog (nothing like hiding the evidence when you're guilty I suppose) and that some followed their blog before and perhaps will be invited to continue to do so but don't believe what you may hear or read because in all probability they are lies. My actions up until this point speak volumes about me, my part in the match and who I am as a person and as a surrogate - I am and always have been myself and I have done absolutely nothing to cause their behaviour.
Thanks for sticking with the blog, I hope to come back very soon and openly explain what's been happening but right now I'm truly hoping just not to become part of a 'surrogacy-gone-bad' real life story.
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