Simply Blah

I'm not doing so good today - warning, pity party for one coming up...

So, AF is here and what I had been reading regarding Clomid making for a bad AF has come true. It's bad bad. Think 5 changes of heavy duty stuff in 7 hours. Ugh. And painful. The pain began the day she arrived but has increased, it's pretty constant - although in all fairness, the pain could also be the residual UTI/kidney thing and Clomid/ovary stuff in the mix too.

I'm no baby, AF has never been particularly kind when visiting me but yeah, painkillers are my new best friend right now.

And then the Clomid side effects have started too. I've got to say with lightning speed too this cycle but they are definitely making their presence felt. In no particular order :

• Fatigue but also sleeplessness - Such a fun combination. Not.
• Nausea - Started after the 3rd tablet this morning. At least in this part of my cycle, I can take something to help with that thankfully.
• Headache - Nagging rather than horrendous which is one good point.
• Brain fog - This, as I said last cycle, is not a good one for me especially. Makes me feel on edge and disorientated.
• Hot flushes - Which actually are more of the night variety this time around - waking up with everything stuck to you is so not attractive. Or pleasant.
• Feeling blue - A new one, that and not very welcome either. AF hormones + Clomid hormones = not a very chirpy me right now.
  

The last one actually is the one that bothers me the most. Anything that can have an effect on my brain/mood scares the crap out of me. I don't like feeling odd or out of control, it raises my anxiety level by about 11. And what makes this worse is that this side effect took me by surprise, I was jumpy last cycle thinking I may have something of this nature but it never happened, I then thought this cycle would follow suit and so was unprepared to feel like this.

So anyway, I'm taking lots of deep breaths and reminding myself that this is only for a short amount of time and for a fantastic reason which helps a bit.

Again, same as last month, this time tomorrow, I'll be halfway done with the dreaded pills so I'm also focusing on that right now but I am desperate to snap out of this as I'm sure I'm not exactly being the best mother and wife right now.

I'm going out shortly to enjoy the gorgeous weather we're having here and hopefully the fresh air will do me some good and lift my spirits.

/whine