Telling People

IPs visited me this weekend, it was fantastic to share our excitement and happiness at the news together at last and we had a lovely time.

We went over the agreement, to double check we had everything correct and covered, my husband and I went out to dinner with them both - good food and great company and I also gave them the paperwork from my midwife booking pack which I think made it all the more real for them! I gave them one of my digital tests and also a FRER from a day ago - hey, you may be thinking that that's gross but I was nice enough to remove the absorbent end I had dipped! And I did another fresh one for them so they could watch those 2 lines appearing in real time, it was simply wonderful watching them huddled around the test, we all had a bit of a moment right then I think.

I do think it's very important for them to be involved in every single way and they know that anything I can do, I will, to help make them feel like equals in this journey and also so that they don't miss out on a thing just because we aren't a normal couple having a baby.

We also moved onto talking about who we needed to tell and when. Now this is always a bit controversial, you have those who say you shouldn't jinx anything and should wait until the crucial 1st trimester is over safely before you tell anyone and there are those who say that it doesn't matter and celebrating the occasion is important, no matter how early you are. I want to be in the first camp but actually, I'm in the second, mainly because it's hard to keep these things a secret and because I want to tell the world and so why not right now?

Once IPs had left for home, I returned home and decided to tell my mother. Now, my mother has known since the day I first placed a thread expressing my interest in becoming a surrogate about my intentions and she's seen me through the ups and downs of the journey so far so it shouldn't of been much of a shock but it was. I don't think anyone thinks past the ttc stage, they don't actually believe (and not when it just went on and on, cycle after cycle) you will fall pregnant so when you announce it, it's going to be a bit of a shock. My mum is of course concerned for me first and foremost and she has questions but she knows that I've wanted to do this for a long time and that it's not something I'm taking lightly. She's still talking to me and tells me that she still loves me so I think we're going to be alright and I won't be written out of the will!

My husband surprised the heck out of me when we visited his mum and brother today and he told them, just like that and they equally surprised me by just making a joke and being totally fine with it all. I admit that they probably don't fully understand the entire surrogacy thing but obviously know enough to know I will be carrying a baby that I will ultimately hand over to other people and yet were still fine with it.

I still have yet to tell the rest of my family but that's not because I won't but just because I have yet to have the opportunity. We are very close though so it is important to me that I do that as soon as I can. It is important to me that they don't feel like they were excluded from the news.

My IPs have told one set of parents, who are delighted for us but not the other set as yet and it's something that my IPs are a bit anxious about. I wish that everyone had only happy faces and were as joyous as us but I'm not naive enough to expect that, I know that people will frown on what we've done and that people will see it as buying/selling a baby but I can hopefully educate them a little and maybe even change a few minds - even if I can't, I am not allowing anyone to ruin this experience that I've waited so long for. 'Fear always springs from ignorance' - said Ralph Waldo Emerson and it's very true.

I am so proud of what we've all achieved together, so many times we felt like giving up but we perservered and it's paid off - I want to shout it from the rooftops!