So moving on, I upped my dose and with that came the risk of it altering my ovulation date, which might of actually happened. FF can't make up its mind, I had 2 days of + opks, which is totally normal for me but my temperature has it confused and it altered my ovulation date a few days back. I don't agree with it and I think after this many cycles, I'm probably more in tune with my body than some software programme but it still annoyed me, the 2ww is stressful enough without having your dpo messed up by changing ovulation dates. Regardless of which ovulation date is correct, we still have a chance but it does make you question if those odds have gone down, if FF dates are actually right.
And for some reason, Instead Cups are not working as well for me either, no reason why, I'm not doing anything differently, but I felt that there was perhaps more, ahem, spillage this cycle. It's a hazard, I think most women have the same problem and it only takes the one but it's still annoying when you worry you've lost any! We did try the syringe method last cycle and I just don't like it or see it can be any better over cups.
It was also school holiday time here and I realised that my mood during insems and the 2ww is impacting on my home life and that makes me feel like shit. I mean, I signed up for this, not my children so for me to be anything other than normal, happy, fun Mum, is not fair. I really need to get a grip on things, after all I don't have many more months and I don't want it to be a big slog and have anything other than good memories, regardless of the outcome. I think though, in fairness, I have a lot of other stuff going on too and it's all come together at the same time so it's not just surrogacy stuff that is bothering me alone.
I also have pregnancy test envy, if I have to look at another + test, my expensive, sparkly new laptop may need the equally as expensive insurance I took out on it sooner than it thought - I kid, well mostly. It's my own fault, I really should just stop. looking at sites, yeah, that might help. I swear every single cycle that I will not look at my own chart 10 times a day - what am I expecting to see since I put my temp in that morning? I swear I will not look at a pregnancy test site - is it going to increase my chances of seeing a + test, yeah right, if it did, I would of been pregnant month 1! It's addictive though and I'm betting most people ttc can sympathise, it's like you lose the sensible, mature, logical part of your brain for those 2ww. And it can't help can it so why I do it, I just don't know!
Which brings me onto something my IP told me they had seen on the web, 'The 10 Commandments of the 2ww', made me giggle so thought I'd share:
The Ten Commandments of the 2 ww
- Thou shalt not pee on a stick obsessively, or at all, until at least 14 days past O.
- Thou shalt not stalk pregnancy bbt chart websites.
- Thou shalt not calculate the due date of a still-fictitious baby.
- Remember your husband, and connect with him daily.
- Honor your body and pamper it at least once a day.
- Thou shalt not kill others’ spirits with your words no matter how good it might feel.
- Thou shalt not commit internet-adultery (ignoring your spouse for the sake of your online IF-life).
- Thou shalt not steal other IF blogger’s posts, despite a total lack of ability to concentrate and come up with good posts of your own.
- Thou shalt not lie about your feelings just for the sake of making others feel better.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ovaries, uterus, tubes, sperm or children.
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