First and foremost, I want to say that things are moving forwards positively with regards to my former IFs. We are now communicating via email and things are pleasant currently, I just decided that I was in a place in life generally where I was ready to draw a line under things from the past and move forwards, in whatever way we were all most comfortable with.
I've had some lovely updates on Oli and how he's growing up, sounds like he is thriving and growing up so fast and he has a better social life than me - what more could a baby want?!
He's absolutely beautiful, I still don't see any of myself in him but I definitely do see who his biological father is. He does have the same long eyelashes as my oldest though and I'm sure he will bat them throughout his life and with a flash of his grin, both will help win over lots of hearts.
On another equally as important note, Cafcass (basically an official court reporter, who looks after the welfare of children - in all different settings, who come out to write a report saying whether they note any concerns and whether they therefore recommend the Parental Order be granted or not) visited us all over the course of the past week. She began by visiting my IFs and Oli and from what I'm told, it went very well and she had no concerns and then it was mine and my husband's turn for her visit yesterday.
I have to say it went perfectly and smoothly, absolutely nothing to worry about. It helped that she had seen K and B first because they had obviously answered a lot of the questions she had to ask and so really my role was just to confirm what had been said and sign some paperwork. She was a lovely lady, it was her first experience of a Parental Order and I think she was happy that she was dealing with a nice case, compared to some of the bitter disputes over custody that she deals with too. We actually spent most of her short visit generally chatting about surrogacy and it all felt very informal.
In case anyone is wondering, she asked me to confirm the expenses schedule, how I felt things would work between the 4 of us from this point onwards, how my husband felt about the whole situation and then to sign the paperwork saying I freely gave my consent to the Parental Order being made. She told me that K and B had had criminal record and background checks and been asked the same sort of questions - such as how they would approach the surrogacy situation as Oli grew up, how they planned to explain his heritage etc.
She told me that Oli appeared to be doted on, he was happy and healthy and seemed to be very well cared for. She had no worries and would therefore, after talking to us here, be recommending the Order was granted.
So, that's that - the official court hearing is next month and that will be just a formality and Oli will then be officially theirs. Very pleased, I felt no sadness about signing the final bit of the puzzle - just satisfied that it's all gone as hoped for.
Where we go from here, in terms of contact with one another, well I guess we'll just have to see. I am optimistic that we can continue to stay in contact and exchange updates with one another but I am under no illusion that things can and may change for any of us so for now, I think we're all comfortable with how things are and will just see where it goes.
