Thoughts

It's been a year since my last match began, well the first lot of insems anyway and my mind is naturally drawn to what lies ahead this year in terms of surrogacy and how I would like things to go.

I've decided to begin charting again this cycle - Hurrah! I'm so sad but I love charting and I never fail to be fascinated by what it shows. Firing up Fertility Friend again felt good!

I've also started thinking about Clomid vs. natural when I begin insems again - hypothetically speaking obviously at this point. We know that Clomid certainly did the job of getting me ovulating regularly and it wasn't such a bad experience either so I'm drawn to giving it another go next match and seeing what happens.

In an ideal world, I would like to get my tubes checked out but I've decided that I'm not going to stress it this time around. I know I'm fertile, it's just a question of fate and you know what, if I don't get pregnant 3rd time around, it's really not the end of the world. Ha, who would of thought I'd be saying that? Not me!

I'm definitely so much more chilled with regards to surrogacy nowadays, I think I've just realised that it doesn't have to be all consuming and I'm OK with that. As I know I've said before, I'm so busy in every area of my life that I don't have the time to give the whole process as much thought or time as before and I'm very much hoping that for my next match, it's as quick a process each cycle as possible and with as least disruption to my life as possible - give me the necessary, let's do what's needed and then go our separate ways for the 2ww. Sounds a plan to me! I hope I find a couple who feel exactly the same way.

This is where previous experience comes in, you know what works and what doesn't and you know what you want out of a match. Now, I know it's a two-way street and that there has to be an element of compromise but I'm hoping that I find a match where they understand time pressures but trust me to know what I'm doing and do what's best where ttc is concerned. I don't have the time (or inclination) to hold hands or walk a couple through the process, I'm too far in the surrogacy game to want to go back to the start.

Most of all I am just eager to get started again, it feels like its been ages. I hope that my next match is just around the corner because honestly, I would start insems next week - if only it were that easy!

Stats

Journey 2:

Cycle 13: Length: 28 and LP: 13 (Clomid 100mg - Days 2-6)
Cycle 14: Length: 28 and LP: 13 (Clomid 100mg - Days 2-6)
Cycle 15: Length: 26 and LP: 12 (Clomid 100mg - Days 2-6)
Cycle 16: Length: 27 and LP: 12 (Clomid 100mg - Days 2-6)
Cycle 17: Length: 28 and LP: 13 (Clomid 100mg - Days 2-6)


Unmatched:

Cycle 18: Length: 23 and LP: ? (Not tracking ovulation)
Cycle 19: Length: 28 and LP: ?
Cycle 20: Length: 27 and LP: ?
Cycle 21: Length: 27 and LP: ?
Cycle 22: Length: 26 and LP: ?
Cycle 23: Length: 26 and LP: ?

Happy New Year

It's almost unbelievable that I'm still here with this blog and still so far away from the goal. But, here I am!

It has been one hell of a roller coaster year, for one reason and another and although things didn't always go the way I'd planned or hoped for, I'm not sad or full of regrets.

Hoping that 2012 FINALLY is the year I fulfil my calling of being a surrogate. I'm getting pretty fed up of seeing so many others succeed at what seems to be impossible for me. I want my turn!

Honestly, the world and his wife, or surrogate, is pregnant lately and I can truly say that I am happy for them but I'm definitely green-eyed and desperate to join those ranks.

I think my problem is I constantly doubt myself and my abilities but this year, I have vowed to believe in myself. That doesn't only apply to surrogacy either, I have some big plans!

This year I've lost a friend sadly, figuratively obviously, but it's out of my hands, I have re-built bridges with others and I've made some new ones - maybe one of which may be my 2012 match. Taking things super slow but things are definitely moving forwards and if things come together then I will be back to tell all but at this point, I'm keeping it quiet.

Since it's the end of a year, I want to thank those of you who keep coming back to my little blog and reading. I don't know who the majority of you are but I appreciate you stopping by and having you along for the ride, I just hope this year I can finally make it worthwhile for you all, with the sweet smell of success - stick with me a bit longer please!

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year, may all your dreams and wishes come true.