Doctor Doctor

I decided that maybe it was time for a fertility MOT. Not because of anything that's happened specifically but just because my old IPs planted a seed of doubt that I've been unable to shake.

If you ask her, I was the mean one, I said horrible things - which of course I absolutely did not but actually, it was her who said some things that dug deep into my brain and have played on my mind. So, my appointment today was the first step to hopefully putting that to rest.

I love talking about surrogacy but even more so to people who don't hear it every day, their reaction never fails to make me chuckle. My GP's was no exception. Very sweet and interested in what's going on, asked lots of questions which I hope I answered well and that I presented the wonderful side to surrogacy in a good light too.

The upshot is that the GP is having me take a bunch of blood tests and an ultrasound to check my female bits are functioning as they should. I don't anticipate any bad news of course but it'll be nice to get the big thumbs up and all clear.

Starting with a Day 5 blood test tomorrow, without actually seeing the list, I'm guessing it'll consist of LH, FSH, testosterone and prolactin. She said there was no point in doing the TSH (thyroid one) since I had that routinely checked in November and it was fine. These tests are old hat for me, from my own ttc days. It's a standard work up basically.

Then we'll move onto the progesterone blood test, a day or 2 after ovulation. I'm really curious as to what that result will be because I obviously have a short LP. It's always been that way and I managed to conceive 3 children but I may not always be that lucky and that may need some assistance, something simple like a progesterone cream or tablet in the 2ww. Very much a fixable issue, if indeed it does appear to be one.

Also, that blood test will tell me if my picture perfect OPKs have been lying to me all this time! It will confirm ovulation has taken place. Or not.

Finishing up with an ultrasound. Again, another test I'm looking forward to. Well not the actual physical part of it of course, I'm not a freak but the results. My periods have become strange and are painful and heavy, it'll be nice to check out that there are no fibroids or endometriosis lurking in there. And I get to check the state of play for the ole' PCOS too. Something I've not had checked since 2002.

I've also investigated the possibility of getting an AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) test, which essentially checks for ovarian reserves. Giving an indication of future fertility. It's not available on the NHS for the most part so that would be an out of pocket expense but one that I would have no problem paying personally. For peace of mind, it'd be worth it but first, we're having the preliminary tests done before that one.

The GP was interested in what had happened with my period last cycle, since it was out of character for me. She said it may be that the blood test shows something up on that front but since I never had a + HPT, probably not. IFs and I have discussed the possibility of it maybe being a chemical pregnancy. At this point, I'm not analysing or worrying about it because what's done is done and we will never be sure either so could be barking up the wrong tree and upsetting ourselves for nothing.

Anyway, back to tests - It sounds like a scary lot of tests, with some possibly worrying outcomes but I'm confident that all will be ok. I need this though for my own peace of mind and also from a pro-active point of view, if problems are found then we can jump on them now rather than realising it 6 attempts down the line. Saving all of us upset and lost time in getting the job done - handing over a bouncing baby to my wonderful IFs.

I think I may of worried K with talk of tests but I've reassured him I'm not expecting to be told I'm a dud or anything and so he's not to go ripping up that contract yet! I think just as they had their fertility tested, for peace of mind, I'd like mine done at this stage too.

I will of course come back and update, as and when.

Onwards - Attempt 2

Cycle 1: Length: 27 and LP: 11
Cycle 2: Length: 33 and LP: 10 (ill so late ovulation)
Cycle 3: Length: 26 and LP: 10
Cycle 4: Length: 26 and LP: 00 (annovulatory)
Cycle 5: Length: 27 and LP: 11
Cycle 6: Length: 28 and LP: 12

Following on so that I can keep track:

Cycle 7: Length: 24 and LP: ? (not tracking ovulation obviously)
Cycle 8: Length: 26 and LP: ?
Cycle 9: Length: 27 and LP: ?

New journey stats:

Cycle 10: Length: 25 and LP: 10


So, obviously AF did arrive a few days back. I wasn't sure if it was AF as things were just really screwy with my body. My cervix was (and still is) high and soft, instead of low and hard during bleeding and my bleeding was (and still is) not normal for me.

It's absolutely not implantation bleeding though, it's just too much and the HPTs have all been negative so we can definitely draw a line under attempt 1.

Wasn't sure which day to count as Day 1 because the bleeding definitely didn't start being AF like until the next day after it began but I'm sticking with what I usually do which is simply, the first day anything starts, that's to be Day 1. In this case, that gives me a really short cycle but maybe it's just a complete blip. Either way, we're only talking by a day, it being the shortest. I guess we'll see if that's right by which day I ovulate this month.

I've had a crazy week, children ill, really busy, strange stuff with my body and I'm sick at the moment with a sore throat. I'm excited for the start of a new cycle though, with renewed and fresh hope.

It's been a year since I began my surrogacy search and journey and what amazing 12 months it's been! I'm still positive about the whole experience and so ready to see a BFP (as are my IFs!). I hope by this time next year, I'll be able to say another ambition has been ticked off my list and a family made complete.

Nearly There

Currently at 9dpo and I am eating everything in sight and today I woke up with the start of a coldsore. I think it's safe to assume that AF isn't too far away. Boo.

I don't usually have PMS symptoms such as hunger but I'm also on a diet so perhaps it's more noticeable when I'm extra hungry now?

I had a course this morning and came home with the most horrendous headache to boot. It's not been a good morning!

IFs are doing ok, they've had a couple of wobbly moments where they thought they wanted me to test early but decided that it was best to just wait this one out and what will be, will be. I'm in their camp.

We knew it would be total luck whether it worked or not, just like every other cycle will be. Bit disappointing since everything was perfect this cycle but conception is simply pure luck of the draw and what mother nature has up her sleeve.

Ah well, onwards and upwards!

Happy Birthday, B!

All done and dusted, both type of OPKs are now negative and have been all day so that's us done and dusted. 2ww here we come!

I've set K a challenge, to see if he can hold out asking me to test for the full LP...Place your bets, people.

I've left if up to them when they want me to test, they've both said (at this stage!) that they'd like me to wait until I'm techncially late. I'm happy to do whatever since I've had my time at seeing a + test, or 3, and this is all for them now.

So, that's where we are. Short post but hopefully I'll be back soon posting the result of cycle 1, one way or another, very soon.

Calm

Insems last night went really well, it was so great to see K & B once again. Big hugs all round. My OPK was negative around 6pm last night but I was unsure whether I really had/was ovulating as my signs didn't correlate with that - mucus wasn't as it usually is at that point and my cervix was low also.

Just as I said (said in a smug 'told you so!' type voice), I took an OPK this morning and lo and behold, I was greeted with a :) face! I just knew that that would probably be the case. Even better was to find that my fertile signs agreed and even the IC OPK was a dark + this morning, as opposed to just a positive yesterday morning. Timing couldn't of been better. I'm still surging as of now, had another smiley on the digi just now. I think I probably caught the surge as it began this morning and it's the tail end now and tomorrow it will be negative.

Means we've managed the day before the surge, the day of the surge and we'll be covering tomorrow too.

It went smoothly, as we all thought it would. The first time is always the most nerve wracking in some ways as you just don't know until you're in the thick of it, how things will be, but we were pretty confident in what we were all doing.

We managed an insem around midnight yesterday and so it was a late night for us all. No problem though. We've decided to give Pre-Seed a try. We've both read a lot of success stories with others who've used it and thought it certainly wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

You can read up about it here :: http://www.preseed.com/

We are just using the Instead Cup, reading around has shown that's much easier and a much better way at doing home inseminations. I'm certainly not going to argue, much less mess and definitely less fiddly.

Today we met up this morning for another insem and went out for lunch. We took my youngest with us and he was very well behaved and K & B got on well with him which was lovely.

Plan for tomorrow (B's birthday of all days, what a great way to spend it!), is one final insem before they start the journey back home and that's us done, we'll be in the 2ww. None of us are worked up about anything if I'm honest, it's just been so easy going and comfortable which is just how it should be.

We keep checking each other is ok with everything and we really really are. :o)

CD14

(Excuse rubbish phone camera picture)


And I got a very unexpected smiley face on the OPK this morning! I had encouraging signs and we knew we were nearly there but I'd anticipated Friday so it was definitely a surprise.

Also not the best timing since I woke up feeling ropey this morning, typical! I don't feel as bad now though so it certainly won't be stopping us.

See from the pictures how few OPK's I've had to do this cycle, the cheap test actually agrees with the digi this cycle too which is new to me as usually they don't match up.

Anyway, I text K with the picture, I love getting them as involved as possible so something small like that, I hoped made a difference to them and made them smile.

K called to talk and if you know me, you know I hate talking on the phone but the phone was buzzing before I had a chance to try and get out of it. It was fine, K was as lovely as always and put me at ease. It was lovely to hear the excitement in his voice too.

IFs were already travelling down tomorrow to stay in a hotel and be ready so it's not that much a deviation from the plan. B was luckily already working from home so is available but K is working tonight until 10:30pm supposedly but he's managed to arrange it to leave at 8pm and they will drive down and check in tonight.

Thankfully my husband is on an early shift and finishing at 11pm so if we want, we have the option of doing an insem tonight.

How exciting! I have a feeling that this will be one of a couple of surges though as otherwise my cycle will be shorter than usual and I'm pretty regular as you can see.

I reckon I'll have the smiley again tomorrow which is fine as any time within 36 hours of the :) is optimum for insems and IFs are here for a few days.

Fingers crossed for a smooth first attempt.

Journey 2 - Attempt 1

I was berated (jokingly I hope!) by one of my IFs for not posting much on this blog but this blog was always going to be about surrogacy rather than just chitchat. If I have nothing surrogacy related to say, I'm not going to post. And anyway, as I told him, it's not quantity, it's quality!

What's new? Well, we're no more than a week off ovulation now which is very exciting! IFs ordered the necessary things a while ago and we were getting worried as the package hadn't turned up but I'm relieved to say that just as we were thinking I may have to go shopping today and IFs would need to dig into their pockets, the postman brought what we were waiting on.

Seeing ovulation tests never fails to get me excited, I know, I'm such a simple creature but it's the hope that they bring. That this cycle, these tests that I will use in the course of the cycle, will be the last ones I need to use and that I will be successful in getting pregnant.

Feeling very relaxed about seeing my IFs again, none of us are nervous about what's ahead, we're both experienced but it's more that we all know what our expected role is in things and just feel really relaxed around one another which has to be help.

As a good friend said to me today, 'enjoy your last weekend of being not pregnant!' It made me chuckle and although I'm always realistic, I'm also optimistic. Wouldn't that be wonderful if she was right! Fingers crossed.

Fittingly enough, as I'm typing this, the pefect lyrics to a song just played on the television behind me -'Life is a rollercoaster, you've just gotta ride it'. Very true.