Changes, Bumps and Pee Sticks

It really has been forever since I updated but life has just been one whirlwind - so much has changed here, I've just been non-stop.

We moved house last week, now that was no fun at over 6 months pregnant but it was necessary and we're all so much happier in our bigger home. The kids have a garden and we can all just move, it's lovely.

My mum, who moved to Scotland ahead of our move next year, with my gran, have both settled in well. I do miss them both but we're all having fun using Skype - including my 95 year old grandmother which is so cool. Looking forward to visiting them at the end of next month but not to flying and having a 3 hour drive once we get there!

Also, my youngest has begun big school. *sniff* He is doing fine, tired which is to be expected but enjoying himself. He's only on half-days until mid-October and alternating between mornings one week and afternoons the next, which means I'm up and down to the school several times a day with 1 child or 3 but it's keeping me busy and at least makes the weeks go that bit quicker.

Finally and most importantly (well to this blog), baby is great. I'm now 25 weeks and am doing well, still forever plagued by morning sickness and extreme tiredness but loving being pregnant and finding myself thinking forward to delivery day and the look on K & B's faces more and more! Still can't quite believe this is happening to me (or them) and making sure I enjoy every moment - good or bad. How lucky am I to be in such a privileged position?!

Here's my 4-weekly bump picture, I'm definitely feeling as big as I look:

I had my routine hospital antenatal appointment a couple of days ago. All is fine from their point of view, blood tests on my liver are fine and they saw no need to make me have the liver ultrasound that had been talked about before. Apart from the fact that I'm technically fat, and old, they are happy to just keep an eye on my blood pressure via the community midwife and not see me again now until a growth scan at 32 weeks.

Baby was centre stage again today, when I had my community midwife appointment. I was really pleased that due to annual leave, I saw the midwife I had with my own 3 children and she is a lovely lady - down to earth but really makes you laugh and feel important. All was fine, most the checks weren't done today since I had them done the day before at the hospital and it was more about ticking boxes - such as flu vaccination, my maternity certificate and booking my glucose tolerance test. I also broached the subject of a home birth - I knew her reaction before uttering the words but she also knows that I'm not stupid and wouldn't make any rash or unwise decisions. At this stage, it's merely an idea.

Her only real concerns were my BMI, the fact that this may mean I have a big baby but it's never happened before at least and the blood pressure concerns. She said that really it was a discussion I needed to have with my hospital but to expect them to be resistant to the idea too. I certainly will discuss it with them at the next appointment at the beginning of November, I think it's pretty stupid that they want to make care and delivery as difficult as possible, because of our unique situation, and yet me giving them an alternative will be met with equal scorn! Oh well, we'll play it by ear I guess.

Talking of which, we still haven't had a meeting with the hospital about their thoughts and concerns and our plan of action. The hospital doctor said it was the community midwife who should chase it, the community midwife said that it was in the system and to just wait. I will make a point when I have my GTT done, to ask our usual midwife to see what's happening. Given that I will be in the 3rd trimester next week and baby is now medically viable, I would really like to have things in place in case labour happens when we all are least expecting it.

So everything is moving along nicely, baby is more than making up for the late start in movements and giving me a good kicking all day long! I really want K& B to feel it, hoping it won't be long - they would be able to now but it would involve me lying down and I'm not sure the local coffee place that we usually frequent on a visit would approve of me whipping my tummy out and 2 gay men touching it, over a vanilla latte and a lemon tart! LOL.

I think I may be losing the plot slightly though, I had this insane urge to POAS when I walked past the HPT aisle in our local supermarket and when I saw them priced at a mere £3.50, I grabbed a pack. I really wanted to test the idea of the 'hook effect' theory out where pregnancy tests are concerned. Now, for those of you who don't know what pirates have to do with peeing on a stick - here:

'The "hook effect" can happen when the HCG level exceeds 1 000 000 IU/L, causing pregancy tests to come out as a false-negative.'

I can officially tell you, well for me at least, it's false. Here's my result at 25 weeks pregnant:

OK, so perhaps that was actually all just a convenient excuse to feed my test addiction but interesting result nonetheless and I've duly done my bit for science. Well Wikipedia anyway! You're all welcome. :o)

Miserable

I'm exhausted, the first trimester kind of exhausted, the walking through treacle type and it's making me miserable.

I know it's the last few days of a very long 7 week school holiday for the children and my husband has been off just 7 days during that time, which probably explains a lot of the tiredness but it's grinding me down and making me feel like an awful mother. I wake up, force myself out of bed and then within half an hour after breakfast I'm laid back down again and there I stay, alternating between zoning out and dozing if I get the chance. I go through the motions and make lunch and dinner, tidy up, put washing on, put activities out for the kids and so on but it's just the basics and I have to push myself to do even that.

Now, obviously there are days where going out is necessary, there's no way my lively children could be cooped up day in and day out but those days it is a struggle to find the energy to walk - all I am thinking about is where I can next sit down or when we can go home so I can lie down again. I have to snap out of it somehow, I honestly don't think I'm anaemic because I suffer chronic anaemia and I know what my symptoms are and they don't match this time so I'm left with the conclusion that it's just pregnancy related.

I'm so glad that I have a holiday in the planning stage for once I'm no longer baking a baby, my children most certainly deserve it and more, for putting up with grumpy mummy but it doesn't seem enough and doesn't make me feel better about the way I've been with them lately. This is the side of surrogacy that some people don't consider.

Anyway, in other news, my mum and gran left for Scotland this past week and although I felt not too bad when the big day came, it's the little things that remind me they are no longer next door and makes the sadness creep in.

I realise that I never said that we weren't officially going to Scotland so I apologise that some people have been surprised to see I'm still here but it was undecided until the last minute really - combination of the baby, my mum's house build being delayed by a month and my husband's job being too uncertain for my liking. All those combined led us to the difficult but sensible decision to postpone our move for a year but of course my mum and gran continued with theirs.

Also this week, I've given more thought to birth matters. It's just a huge decision and one that I'm not sure I can decide on my own. K & B have always said they will support me 100% in where I want to give birth and trust me not to risk my own or their son's safety when making a decision. I think in my next post, I may weigh up the pros and cons of each. Worst thing, especially for someone who likes to know in advance, is that I could agonise over this decision for weeks or months and yet it could all change in a moment and be thrown out the window! Babies eh? Who'd have 'em......