Perfect

Scan was perfect! We had the same lovely sonographer that we had at our 12 week scan and she was very thorough and talked us through each step and body part. The worrying kidney dilation has resolved or at least isn't a concern now which was a relief to hear.

Boo put on quite a show for his daddies, nibbling on his foot, scratching his ear and generally making him presence known for his big day on tv!

Very pleased to update with the news that K did make today in the end and it was fantastic for them both to see first-hand just how detailed and reassuring the anomaly scan is - definitely worth skipping a day at work, K said and something that B couldn't of gone back and accurately described to him. They both went home grinning from ear to ear and buzzing, it was a fabulous day for us all.

Big Scan Tomorrow!

And of course I'm nervous, it just feels like at every scan we've had something crop up and so I am hoping this one is different and it all goes smoothly.

I'm feeling pretty good overall, 21 weeks now! I've had some instances of horrendous morning sickness and had to rely on my tablets to get me through the day but at least it's not every day unlike before. I'm feeling tired but that's not particularly changed so I'm used to getting on with it and my tummy is definitely expanding - this is the view when I look down...

I go from feeling huge sometimes and then the next day, my tummy seems almost flat and I think it's crazy how I'm 5 months pregnant - he has obviously found a flattering hide-out in there to use sometimes!

Still not feeling definite movements, I do feel flutters sometimes but it's not consistent. Having the trusty doppler means I'm not panicked but I had expected to be feeling more by this stage, perhaps it's just to do with where my placenta is lying - which we will find out tomorrow.

Only B can make the scan tomorrow, obviously sad that K won't be there too but he has to work and I know it wasn't an easy decision but he'll get the full run down as soon as we're finished up with the scan.

So, looking forward to another milestone, after that will be the routine hospital antenatal appointment at the beginning of September - shortly after the kids go back to school! It's been a lonnnng summer.

Future Thoughts

Feeling a bit lonely and sorry for myself lately, probably not pregnancy related in entirety but I'm sure that's a part of it - darn hormones!

I had the urge to call K & B last night and normally I would of but for some reason I was afraid I would just cry, and whine, and probably cry some more so I didn't and I'm sure they're glad of that. LOL.

It's too hot here, I'm definitely slowing down as my body and the baby grow and the children are on their summer break so I'm doubly as worn out. I definitely feel pregnancy more now than when I had my own 3, amazing how 5 years can make a lot of difference. I especially felt old when I asked on a surrogacy board how old the other surrogate members were and I was not far off being the oldest!

Talking about questions on this particular surrogacy board, there was one asking how many surrogate babies the surrogates had had and if they would have more. I've always said I would do it the once, maybe twice but because it took me so freaking long to achieve this one, I guess my mind had always said I'd be happy if it ever happened and wouldn't tempt fate to try a second time and put myself or my family through the hell of ttc but now I know that I can get pregnant and I have this amazing affirmation that I can, I want to do it again! Also, my husband who had been against me doing it again suddenly a month or so ago said that he would be fine with me doing another journey, so that's thrown me into indecision.

I think I will try again, I only have a certain amount of Clomid I could take now so that would influence trying again and whether I would find IPs interested in someone who takes time to get pregnant but I wouldn't like to discount a 2nd journey as things currently stand.

Ideally, I thought I would like to have a baby for a different couple and then try a sibling project (be that with K & B or the 2nd couple) but that's dependent on a hell of a lot of things that are out of my control so not something I can plan.

I wonder how K & B would feel about me ttc for a different couple, after all, any child would related to their child which must be a strange concept! I guess all in good time, it's something to discuss and consider in the far future - let's get Boo safely baked and into his Daddies arms first!

Hospital Appointment Today

I was expecting a run-of-the-mill quick appointment but came out with an action plan as long as anything and extra appointments and tests!

Now, let me say that all 3 of my previous pregnancies have been run of the mill, apart from some high blood pressure at the very end of my last one. Apparently though this pregnancy is treated like my first, because it's with a new partner so new genetics and that can create different problems. OK, I get that but I'm not sure I want to be treated like I might break before there are even any indications that this will be anything other than a smooth and easy pregnancy and delivery. I've never been one that likes to be treated with kid gloves.

So, there are 3 main concerns:

1. My weight. Yes, my BMI is high but anyone with any sense knows that the BMI scale isn't accurate and really is just a tool to help, rather than diagnose. I actually asked for a dietitian referral today, it's sensible to get a grip on my weight during pregnancy - not only so I don't gain too much but to help prevent concern number 2 rearing its head. I have a Glucose Tolerance Test at 28 weeks, which I have had all 3 pregnancies and passed and 2 extra growth scans at 32 and 36 weeks.

2. Previous high blood pressure. I did not have pre-eclampsia last time, I just had high BP which I think was situational. I will need my BP measured every 4 weeks from now on - the clinic want me to go there but I'm hoping that my midwife can do it instead.

3. My elevated liver function tests. This has been an issue for me since 2002. No GP has ever seemed concerned or asked for further testing. The doctor today has really got her teeth into this in particular and has ordered me a liver ultrasound, I had bloods taken today and I may need referring to a heptologist. It's all OTT and not necessary in my opinion.

And the things that I thought were bigger concerns, the doctor brushed off. For example, I had a scare in my last pregnancy, where they thought I had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot on the lung) and was in hospital for 3 days and treated with blood thinners but because by the time I had the specialist lung scan, no clot was seen, (the thinners could of dissolved it by that point), it was unconfirmed but diagnosed with high suspicion that that was what it was. Well, the doctor struck that off as a concern which I'm obviously thankful for but it surprised me.

Also, the whole Group B Strep thing that I think I mentioned before on my blog? Basically, first child, was + but it wasn't detected until after he was born so too late for antibiotics, 2nd I was treated as if I was + and given antibiotics 4 hours before her birth and the last, I was supposed to be treated again as if I had it but delivery suite disagreed and said protocol now advised against preventative antibiotics but it turns out they were wrong and when my son spiked a fever at a few days old - he was rushed into hospital and had to have all sorts of horrific tests to rule out GBS but thankfully, it turned out to be a viral thing, it marred those first few precious days with my baby though. But there was no mention today of any of that. Perhaps it's just too early to discuss the issue at this stage?

All in all, a very detailed appointment, I just hope that they don't start creating huge concerns where there isn't any need. I appreciate their concern and care naturally but not to the detriment of having choices in my own antenatal care.

There was a fun moment where the doctor looked at my husband and asked if 'the father has any questions?' to which my husband looked up, laughed and said 'oh no, I'm not the dad to this one!' and then I had to explain. The doctor suddenly sat back down and started asking more detailed questions!

She said 'well, it's one thing taking risks for your own child but another if you're risking yourself and your baby for someone else' and finished with 'us obstetricians get feelings in our waters about how these things go and so we will be sticking to this plan completely'.  That didn't fill me with confidence, that she was forseeing problems...I know they are covering their backs but still.

So as it stands, big scan at 21 weeks, hospital clinic at 24 weeks, midwife at 25 weeks, midwife for GTT at 28 weeks, hospital and growth scan at 32 weeks, hospital and growth scan at 36 weeks. And I already know that my midwife will begin doing my blood pressure every 2 weeks once I hit about 32 weeks. Yes, I'll definitely be well looked after but hopefully all will happen without any worries or concerns being found.

Throw in there too that we also have a big meeting with the hospital team to discuss our unique situation at some point in the 2nd trimester - that I am actually looking forward to because there is a lot to discuss and get written down and it'll be nice to know that our wishes are going to be respected and that the hospital can feel comfortable with our arrangements too.

I cannot believe I'm almost half-way through, it is just amazing that it's going so quick and I hope it continues because I'm so super impatient as you probably already know - you'd think after waiting 11 cycles to get pregnant, 9 months would be a breeze!