I was talking to 4 particular IPs at once. That's the thing about surrogacy I find most odd, you have to almost hedge your bets and juggle all the friendship balls. It's basically that you build a friendship and see who you click with the most, you can't help everyone which I really felt bad about. Apparently IPs expect you'll be talking to others and there will be losers along the way.
It became apparent that 1 couple weren't ready to actually take things forward, I liked her a lot though. We'll keep in touch for sure. Another couple got the go ahead to give trying for their own baby one more whirl, I'm thrilled for them and will stay in touch to follow that journey to hopefully a joyous end. The 3rd couple were lovely, there was nothing that put them in 2nd place, it just happens that way, things slightly more click with someone else and the 4th couple, well, I felt a connection with them almost straight away.
IM (Intended Mother) tried for a lot of years to get pregnant but in the end it wasn't possible. She had a total hysterectomy and that was the end of them trying for their long awaited baby themselves. She told me in one of her first messages that people thought they were serious and straight laced, I guess that had put others off. At first it felt stilted conversation, almost like a dating site where neither wanted to put the other off. We moved onto FB messaging and then she told me she couldn't access from work and to e-mail her, for some reason I was hesitant of e-mailing personally but I did and we started to speak several times a day. We both started to relax and warm up, it started to feel like it was flowing instead of polite chit-chat.
That was back the begining of the year and continued, we text and e-mail and talk on our small surrogacy board. I asked what we should do next and she suggested meeting in person. My heart was beating so fast as I typed back agreeing. I am not a social person, a people person. I feel clumsy and tongue-tied, awkwardly filling silences in conversation so I was anxious from the word 'ok'.
My IM is the sweetest, she put a ticker up counting down to our meet-up. She would tell me as the day drew nearer, how excited she was. How nervous her hubby was, even down to wondering what he should wear! Then our day was here.
We met, I was afraid it would be awkward, we wouldn't know how to greet each other appropriately but she met me with the widest smile ever and I just hugged her tight. We were all as nervous as each other but it felt so right at that moment. Knowing *I* had made her smile that wide was wonderful, I'd made her happy already and we hadn't even agreed to work together at that point!
For 2.5 hours, we sat and talked, and ate, and laughed. We laughed a lot. Her and her husband were wonderful, asking enough to be interested but not too much to make me feel as though I was at an interview.
Our time was soon up, we had to get back to the children and they had to start the 2 hour drive home. More hugging, more grinning, I don't think IM stopped the entire time we were together. IM and I had discussed how to tell one another the outcome, whether we wanted to work together but we'd decided that we'd 'just know'. And I did. I wanted to wait, to find out what they thought but I couldn't help myself, just 20 minutes after we parted ways, I text them telling them. Then I nervously waited a while until my IM text back with a yes from their end! I was thrilled, absolutely ecstatic.
As soon as IPs made it home, IM e-mailed me, full of thanks for the wonderful thing we were about to do. I don't think I stopped floating on air all evening and my thoughts last night were filled with nothing but them and the adventure we were about to embark on.
This is IT, this is really happening. Really really happening!
No comments:
Post a Comment