Still Waiting

Feeling a bit blue about it if I'm honest although it's not all due to surrogacy/late ovulation stuff but still. Blah.

My promising OPK's are now crystal clear negative. Infact, I swear the evening's one that I just took had an evap line. LOL. Now it's just playing with me!

Weird how it happens that you get so close and then go back to square 1. No wonder my body has decided not to play ball though, I realise I've got a sensitive system as this often happens when I'm super stressed out. And yes, I know in that case, I should chill but easier said than done.

So, we wait a bit longer. I had to order some more tests myself since it's obviously going to be a long cycle. So hoping they turn up before I run out or else I'll be popping to the shops to splash a ton of IP's cash buying some digital ones to see me through.

One thing I read about OPK's on one site selling them was that you can consider a test line that's *almost* as dark as the control line, as a positive. Since when?! That's not what every other site says and if it's true then good job I backed up the almost tests with the digital to confirm they were a true negative. Some sites just make you paranoid I swear.

Anyway moving on, feels odd that I thought I'd be in the 2ww by now and I'm not. I'm seeing IPs on Saturday, we're meeting at a city farm for a picnic with my children, looking forward to that but it would be even better if I ovulate before then so that's done and dusted and we can all just relax for another cycle.

IPs didn't want to do an insem regardless of whether we get the + or not in the end this week, before they head home on Sunday, which I felt was a bit of a wasted opportunity. They are so few and far between, we really should be snapping them up but that's not for me to decide or push the point. I offered and that's all I can do and I'm fine with whatever decision they come to.

Hopefully my next post will be to say we're on the 4th 2ww.