I must admit I've been a bit too busy with other matters to give it much thought and besides, we only have so much power to get things changed anyway and I can't give too much energy or thought to something that I don't seem to have much control over unfortunately. I'm looking forward to it though, at least one way or another, we'll have a clearer idea of what is going to happen - be it good or bad. I feel in limbo, like I can't decide anything about the birth - from what I need to pack (will it be overnight or for 3 nights?) to what to put in my birth plan so it'll be nice to know and plan accordingly.
Our community midwife has come out fighting now, I think she realises the injustice of it all and isn't going to allow us to go down without a fight. I had a routine appointment with her today and she said that she's been talking to the manager at her local delivery hospital and that 'there are other options'. Which she went on to say could include delivering at that hospital, instead of our chosen one on the other side of the city. I'm not sure how I feel about that but I guess we need to see what each side is offering us. She did make a point of saying, regarding the meeting on Monday 'you do know that you won't get it all the way you want though, some things can't be changed' but she didn't elaborate. Hmmm, doesn't bode well I must say and she obviously knows more than she was letting on I think.
The rest of the appointment was as expected, BP fine, baby's heart rate fine, urine clear, measuring fine and she took blood for my iron levels. She still can't accurately determine the position of Boo, she thinks in some respects (finding heartbeat high, as has been usual at every appt) that he is still breech but admitted that she also felt what she thought was 'an area full of limbs' which would imply he was head down. LOL. Hedging your bets, much?! I reckon he's head down, I could well be wrong but I no longer feel as stuffed up with baby head under my stomach as before, I'm feeling kicks differently and not as strongly as before. We will see come Wednesday!
I am actually hoping he is breech still, I've come to the conclusion that a c-section would just be most beneficial all round in terms of timing, accommodation for my IFs, them making the birth, childcare, recovery and my well-being. I have even toyed with the idea of asking for one on Wednesday, even though I'm sure they'll refuse. I just think given our unique situation, and taking into account all the other factors, that it would be the better birth option and it sits right with me. Again, I guess we'll see come Wednesday.
I can't believe I'm almost at the end of what's been an epic journey, it's crazy to think within a month (hopefully!), I'll of had my first surrogate baby and my life will return to some sort of normality. I hope I don't feel too deflated and the high of achieving something that so few people will ever achieve, carries me through until I'm hormonally balanced once again! I'm excited to finish what I started some almost 2.5 years ago but super anxious about the birthing thing - as most mothers-to-be are. Except it's different, I'm not going to be a mummy again, no I'm going to be something far more special and for that, I proudly blow my own trumpet!
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