Money

K and I were talking last night and the discussion of how the expense payments post birth will go, we'd already agreed in our contract and spoken about it since but things change and it's important to recognise that and be flexible but most importantly, be able to discuss openly and honestly those changes in a journey of this nature.

So, my point of view was that it's difficult as a surrogate, once the baby is born because there is a shift in 'power' - not the right word but it is the best word. As a surrogate, you have nothing and as an IP, you have everything - you have the 'prize'. Again, not the right word but it's true nonetheless. It is therefore important that both sides retain some control of the changing situation so that no one person feels left out, until the journey is done and completely dusted and the Parental Order signed off.

I wonder how other surrogates and IPs work this stuff out and whether one way works best, probably not since nothing suits every single person the same. Anyway, we were able to talk frankly about what we thought on the situation and come to an agreement which wasn't far away from what we originally agreed upon but that chat allowed us to air our feelings on the matter. I came away feeling relieved that what could of been a heated exchange, was sorted easily and with us both (B's away but I know K is able to speak on his behalf) happy with the outcome.

Money is the biggest stumbling block, in my opinion, within a surrogacy journey and it's the most awkward thing to talk about but it's also the most necessary. I'm glad that it wasn't the case for us last night and that we managed to respect each others opinion and come together once again to find the solution that works for us all. That itself is worth its weight in gold, so to speak.