Monday 7 May 2012

Looking Forwards

I didn't like seeing my last post every time I clicked on my blog, it is still relevant and I know it'll be something that will crop up again but for now, I'm glad to put that behind me for the most part so I thought I'd start a new post so I could push it down the page.

I still can't quite believe I'm actually going to have a surrobaby! So excited and of course a little nervous because it's all unknown but it's still such a wonderful feeling. I wonder how it feels for my IPs, to have someone else walking around carrying their precious baby, it must feel so strange.

I've obviously been thinking ahead, there's so much to think about in terms of how different things will be because it's not my own baby and there are 2 other people in this with me, as equals. Firstly, I've been thinking about our forthcoming scan next Monday. I'm going to call the clinic this week, to give them the heads-up on our unique situation so that when I arrive with my IPs, they are not going to think it strange or ask me questions that I will need to answer in the corridor along with everyone else who is waiting there.

I'm also having to think about the actual scan itself, with 2 others present. Usually when you have an early scan, it's intimate and just you and your partner but this time, there will be 2 others present. The midwife who I saw last time said that they try to do an abdominal scan first and then if they can't see what they need to, they will go for a transvaginal one - normally not something I would blink at if my husband were present but a little different with my IPs there. I'm thrilled that they are able to make it and want to come along but it does give you things to think about for sure!

I'm almost certain it will end up being an internal scan, since I'm so early in pregnancy and I'm, ahem, on the larger side. I recall at my 12 week scan with my 3rd child, they had to switch to an internal so they could see everything so at barely 7 weeks, I'm sure that this will be the case now too.

I know my IPs are very discreet and sensitive and trust me, they will end up seeing and hearing worse during the pregnancy and birth but it is a bit of a harsh introduction to life as a pregnant surrogate!

In our case too, I'm having to consider already the logistics of pregnancy and birth when I've moved to Scotland. Things like scans will have to be performed at a major hospital some 2.5 hours from where I'll be living and a great deal further from where my IPs live.

A long way away in the future but I've also started thinking about my birth options, with regards to the above fact and the thought of an elective section has fleeted in. I had 3 vaginal births with my own children and the last, with just gas & air for pain relief but being so remote, it does scare me that I may be required to go to the major hospital to deliver. I was considered high risk with all 3 of my own children and required to attend a hospital here in Bristol for antenatal care. With my first, it was because I had been having fertility care there. With the 2nd, it was because I had Group B Strep and with my 3rd, because again of the Group B Strep so it's probable that this time, the local maternity unit will not want to accept me and I will be under the care of the hospital in the main city instead.

In winter, it is not unusual for the main route in and our of the Highlands to be closed because of bad weather so getting to the hospital could be a problem and the fact it could be over Christmas too brings the question of childcare into the equation. With so many variables and the fact IPs need to be close so as not to miss the big event, I wonder if a c-section may the best option all round. It scares the crap out of me and it brings cost implications for my IPs but it's something that I have in the back of my mind, to revisit much later in the journey.

Right, enough rambling but it feels better to have it written down!

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