Birth Story - Part 2

Where are we...Oh yes, 24+ hour since my first sign labour had perhaps begun and now 8 days overdue.

I was still having infrequent contractions and decided to get up and take the children to school with the hubster, instead of laying in bed - I figured it was best to keep mobile to get gravity working with me and stir things up. We dropped them off and then headed to a few shops to get some things, I was walking the pace of a snail by this time and almost shuffling - stopping to breathe through the small contractions when necessary. I wasn't leaking fluid any longer, the loss was still there - pink/light red but it wasn't as wet as pure liquid or coming out randomly any longer so I was unsure what was going on but that perhaps I'd had a slow leak that had resealed or that his head had engaged further and was plugging a hole. Either way, I knew that things were definitely happening still.

10:30am and my midwife appt was here, I met K & B at the clinic and despite being an hour behind and poor K & B getting a parking ticket (which they are appealing on the advice of the attendant, who didn't disbelieve us when we said we were held up in the clinic and that we were now racing to the hospital to have this baby! LOL), it was a good appointment. I saw my usual community midwife (2 work at the clinic, I know both very well but this one was my 'usual' one, whereas the one who checked me out yesterday, was the other) who was very upset and annoyed to hear the hospital had discharged me last night. She knew just how dangerous their decision could be, since she also felt my waters had gone and if that was the case, time had been ticking a very long time and infection was a serious risk. Also her hands were tied because she was meant to give me a stretch and sweep at that appointment, with me being 41 weeks, but couldn't because she believed my waters had broken, which meant it was too dangerous to perform one. So, she called Delivery herself and told them I needed to be seen asap and voiced her concerns too and they told me to go in to be assessed once more.

Back to Delivery Suite the 3 of us went and went through similar to the night before. The midwife that morning was lovely, she had a very no-nonsense style but she knew her stuff we felt and was confident. Everything hinged on the speculum examination once more...

K & B were sweet and dived into the en-suite in the room together, so I could have a bit more privacy, I wonder if seeing it twice the night before, they weren't so keen for a repeat showing! LOL. Anyway, the midwife was very thorough, she asked me to cough before even beginning - to see if there was any liquid leaking and she said there wasn't. As she walked away, I felt a trickle and told her so and she agreed but it was bloody so could of been just more show/discharge. Anyway, in with the instrument of torture (!) and she looked twice, having me cough each time. Silence, as she deliberated slowly....And then she said 'I think that's waters. Yep, I'm going to call it as that'. With those few words, things really took off!

Induction. I would be going nowhere. My waters had officially been noted as ruptured, more than enough time had passed, infection was a big risk now and we needed to get this baby out without delay. The midwife told me that she would speak to the doctor about what to do, which method to use. She was so thorough in explaining to us how things worked at the hospital, especially as I knew nothing about induction and was a total newb to it all and clearly very anxious.

Dr would either suggest the gel on the cervix. Which could take hours to kick in, would be done in the room and then I'd be moved to a ward upstairs overnight - which I didn't want as I would of been left alone overnight, possibly in pain too and something I was keen to avoid since I had experienced being alone, contracting strongly overnight on a ward with my 2nd child and I still get upset remembering it. And if the gel didn't work, I would then need to wait for space in Delivery again, to get the drip in the morning (and more importantly wait to get an epidural if the gel did work overnight!).....Or the doctor would suggest the drip straight away, which would get things moving quicker but would be more painful. It all hinged on what method the doctor preferred and thought best for my situation.

About an hour later, the midwife returned, she had spoken to the doctor who said the choice was mine. After we all discussed it, I went for the drip. I was petrified because I've heard horror stories about how painful it is. I have had the drip before actually but only when I've been IN labour already, just to move things along a little, not from kick-start to the finish line but the midwife was so fantastic, explaining absolutely everything and answering all our questions. It was now a matter of waiting for everything to be set up. She explained I could get an epidural earlier since I was in Delivery and getting induced. As I've said before, I've had trouble with epidurals not taking with my first 2 children and so was apprehensive but it was important to me to try one again, if I needed it, and hope for the best.

All of us sat, bewildered that today would be the day. Our lives were all going to change forever and we were (hopefully) mere hours away from the big moment! K went and got some food, B sat with me and we talked and laughed. A new midwife arrived on duty, to take over our care and who was equally as lovely and no-nonsense, we knew we were in good hands and then the moment she came into the room and gave me a gown and was to get started on the IV line had arrived.

Ouch, that sums up that moment. LOL. The midwife who had just handed us over came in to do the jabbing - she is apparently more experienced than the new midwife who had taken over, because that lady is full-time so does IVs more often compared to her. Anyway, it wasn't to be that experience helped (her or me!) because the poor woman tried 3 times to get one in. Nowadays they put local anaesthetic into the veins they *may* use first, so I had several of those before the big needle even came near me. Unfortunately my veins decided to run away and so after 3 attempts, the midwife admitted defeat and asked the anaesthetist to give it a try, since she had grabbed him to come and talk to me about my epidural anyway. I think she was upset that her status as ' the more experienced one' had been called into question. LOL. But it wasn't her fault at all, just one of those things. I thanked her again for her care and she went off shift.

The anaesthetist was very nice, explaining the risks of the epidural and asking about my history, as he quickly but expertly slipped the IV in without even blinking!

It's weird how things happen so quickly when a decision is made, it seemed like a flurry of activity from the words 'let's induce!' It was nice though as it took my mind off what was actually happening and to come.

The midwife put the drip up and as before, explained every step and made sure she told us all what and why and answered any questions. She said they could turn the drip up in increments of 2 (or more if necessary) from 2 to 20 and if things got too intense too quickly or baby showed signs of distress, she could turn it back down. I felt that she had it all worked out and was in control, which was comforting because I felt zero control at that stage and started to shake.

Almost straight away I felt the contractions intensify but it was manageable, I just breathed through them as necessary and the chit-chat in the room distracted me too. One thing about being induced is that the midwife doesn't leave you really, she has to be there to monitor you and baby continuously. I haven't had that before and it was as much reassuring for me and the guys, as nice to simply have the new company. Before long, the midwife could see that I was struggling a bit and suggested it was time for the epidural. See, that sort of attention was fantastic, I didn't have to ask, she read the signs and it was perfect timing.

Whilst waiting for the anaesthetist, K asked our midwife about gas and air. He had been desperate to give it a try and now since I was having an epidural, he didn't think he'd get the chance. The midwife jumped on that...And wheeled a canister of it into the room. With a wink and a 'ssssh', K ticked off that from his bucket list. LOL. It was so funny watching him inhale it, feel the effects and then feel even more giggly from the fact he'd been a naughty boy by trying it on the sly. See, that's why I loved that midwife - she was different, we gelled, we had the same sense of humour and it helped to pass the time and ease the tension.

A different anaesthetist to the one who had briefed me on them and put my IV in earlier, came in, I recognised him actually as being the same man who did my middle child's one. He has a lovely manner but looks about 12! He was excellent at putting me at ease, lots of information and reassurance and a calming manner. The guys stepped out for this part, I don't think anyone chooses to witness an epidural insertion to be honest though.

He spent a long time pressing my back, getting the right spot and seemed to push a fair bit inserting the line but before long, it was all done and the good stuff was pumping through. It seemed to take a while to adequately feel the real relief but we got there. I had a self-administered pump epidural, another new thing to me but it meant every 15 minutes, I could press a button if I felt I needed extra pain relief and I would get a pre-set dose of the medicine. Very cool.

It did work though, I realised how well when the midwife was saying 'she's having one now' to K & B and I realised that I couldn't feel it. Yep, it was most definitely doing something good! I did begin to feel less of a block on my left hand side though, much as I did with my previous epidural experiences unfortunately but gritted my teeth, pressed for a top up when I was allowed, concentrated my breathing on the big ones and got on with it.

The midwife was having trouble throughout with picking up the heart rate on baby, it's because I'm a larger girl and just because the way external monitoring works is not the best. She had pre-warned us that baby need a clip on the head, to keep an eye on the heartbeat so it was no surprise when the time came for her to suggest we do that. We were fine with it, I've had it before in labour but she gave K & B lots of reassurance and info on why it would benefit both baby and I. She had a bit of trouble performing it because she didn't have very long fingers she said! It was sweet that she kept saying 'hello' to baby though - because she could feel his head as she was doing the procedure.

So yes, she fitted it, I didn't feel a thing obviously! It gave her a chance too, to check my cervix and see how things were progressing. She hadn't done it before because when your waters go, they keep examinations to a minimum because of infection risk. I was keen to know what the drip had done so far too. I was at 4cms she declared, very pleased with herself as much as me! I was already in 'established labour'. Wooot! At 6pm, I believe some 2 hours after the drip had been switched on, I was well on my way to delivery of my first surrogate baby.

She confirmed what she had said during an earlier external palpation of baby, that he was slightly back to back. I was so glad I had an epidural as I know how painful that labour can be x 2!

My husband, who had picked the children up from school, given them their tea and then dropped them at my sister's house, arrived to give me some moral support and that was much needed. K & B were doing a sterling job too, lots of hand holding and they were helping the midwife too when she needed things moving or fetching - it was all chilled and calm and helped me to remain focused and calm too.

Several times, the midwife noted some deceleration of the heart rate. Having trouble picking it up over a decent period of time, me being moved around and having to jiggle the internal clip to pick up a trace a few times meant that it wasn't in context though. She couldn't tell if it was worrying or if it was along with a contraction so normal etc. She had 2 different doctors in I believe (will check when I get my notes) to look and offer their opinion, they agreed it overall looked pretty OK but that they were still worried. They decided to keep a very close eye on things and pop back and review. I can remember thinking, this is going to end in a section and I've gone through all this to end up with that. I was really upset but in too much pain and in the zone to vocalise it to anyone.

The anaesthetist came in to check on me a few times, I told him I was still feeling the pain on the left hand side and he suggested perhaps pulling the line out of my back a little and giving me a double dose of the meds, to see if that would help. He said if it didn't, he could perhaps give me a different med down the line and if that didn't work then obviously they were out of options unfortunately. I appreciated his honesty and that I'd at least given it a try. Also, in fairness, it was working about 85% which was better than nothing.

Soon afterwards, hubby left. The midwife had trouble picking the heart rate up yet again, even with the internal method being used. She explained how temperamental they are, if baby moves one way or I move, it can stop picking up and I need to then be moved to another position and if that doesn't help then it may need to be re-inserted. In the end, despite me moving all manner of ways, propping a pillow between my knees and jiggling the wire, it wasn't proving much use and needed to be redone. The midwife asked a colleague, with longer fingers, to do it and they did it together for the 2nd time and she went off for her break, leaving long-fingered Annie (no, that wasn't her name btw) to look after me and she confirmed I was 4-5cms now.

When the other midwife returned from her break, the relief one suggested I lay on my left side to try and get the epidural to migrate because I was still feeling a fair bit of pain on that left hand side. Also, it would help bring the head down further. My midwife was loathe to move me because every time she did, the monitor, which they had just got working really well, would stop picking baby up but felt she had to suggest and try it - in the name of making me more comfortable hopefully so I moved to my left and then to my right when exactly as she had predicted, the heart trace was lost. More worryingly, from my point of view, the pain intensified with a huge jolt. The pain I had still  been feeling but was just about able to cope with, jumped from a 7 out of 10 to a 10 out of 10. I could hardly breathe, I could hardly open my eyes, I couldn't speak. It was out of this world painful. K's face said how I looked, he looked so scared and upset for me and I was so upset, I'd gone from 85% pain free to about 35% in that one movement. AND they lost baby's heart rate again to boot. Oh and my BP was creeping up - perhaps from the pain, rather than anything sinister the midwife thought but I had bloods taken to check again for pre-e starting.

So, I switched back to being on my back. I furiously pressed the button every 15 minutes, asking K to watch it infact and hit it when time was up. I could not believe how much it hurt. The midwife said that at 9:30pm, she would examine me again and see what was happening. The drip was now only up to 8 (from the 2 I started with) but was already doing the job, I was well into labour.

It felt like hours and hours but K has told me from moving me and the pain stepping up, to pushing, it was actually only 45 minutes or so. I remember feeling so sick that I asked the midwife for a 2nd (I'd had one much earlier on) lot of anti-sickness meds. Thankfully that kicked in fast, I recall thinking I'd wait until it did and then ask for gas and air, to help with the awful pain but I didn't want to use it before the meds or I knew I actually would vomit.

9:30pm finally arrived and cervix check time had arrived....None of us could believe it when she said 'he's RIGHT there. Baby is sat right between your legs!' We had expected her to say I still had hours to go. K told me after that he wanted to laugh, just at the sheer shock of being told that! It certainly explained the increase in pain, it had been him coming right down and trying to tell me that he was ready to make his entrance!

K said I hadn't made a noise, just calmly breathed through everything so it was a surprise to be told that I was at the pushing stage and I was still so calm and controlled. Nothing like those programmes you see on television, with the woman yelling like she's being murdered, and at only 4cms! I guess labour and I just do things differently - as I've said before on my blog, I don't yell or shout. I just don't, not because I'm amazing or do it better than anyone else, I've just never felt the need or urge to do it to handle the pain - I can't see how you can shout, I can barely get enough breath when it hurts that bad, let alone an even bigger lung full to be able to shout out.

So, anyway, yes, baby is there ready to meet his Daddies! The midwife had said he had ginger hair. Having not opened my eyes at all, I didn't see her face but thought she was serious and my heart pounded (joke between us all from earlier...) but then heard K and B laugh so knew she was kidding but was thinking 'she can't even see his hair so of course she's joking!'

A minute later, she said 'I think we'll have a baby by 10pm' but I again thought she was joking and  smiled (well grimaced) but minutes later, she was getting the 2nd midwife in to assist (who was the lovely midwife who had assessed me on Delivery at 34 weeks, when I popped in because of lack of movement from baby) and getting the baby resuscitator into the room and I knew she was deadly serious. Oh my god. My moment, K & B's moment, was here.

With that, she told me to grab my legs and push. She knew I couldn't tell when my contractions were here, I was still in excruciating pain and so I was completely reliant on her telling me when to push and it was her and her partner midwife who gave me the strength and confidence to know I was doing it right. One had her hand on my stomach, feeling for the start of the contraction, one ready to guide baby out. And with K & B on either side, holding my hand, whispering encouragement and watching as they waited for that moment they had visualised over and over in their heads....

Maybe 6 pushes later and I heard 'here is he! Hello Oliver! Meet your son, Dads!' and that was followed by sounds of a baby crying, as he took his first breath and K and B's joyous cry at meeting their precious baby boy. Lots of tears, laughter and hugs and kisses all round. B cut the cord, which was so lovely to see. B wasn't going to as he wasn't sure he could but apparently K had told him he should, it's a huge mental milestone and makes a memory and so he did, bless him.

I think the midwives were as emotional as us to be honest. I know that the original midwife out of the 2 had never had a surrogate baby delivery before so I'm positive it was super special for her in that respect. Both were incredibly elated for us, it made the whole ending that bit more memorable and I plan to write to all those who cared for us on Delivery that day, to tell them how much they contributed to the end of a very special and long journey.

And with that....a duo became a trio. A surrogate became complete. And, a family was made.




(More to follow)