Day 13 - Back Down With A Bang

I wasn't sure whether to post tonight, I'm in a foul mood. I don't want to talk about it to be honest but may come back in a few day and put it down here, I'm not usually evasive so I hope you'll forgive me this once. I just don't know if I'm over-reacting or over-sensitive so it's best to keep it to myself, hopefully a good nights sleep will clear things.

I don't feel well either and I don't know whether it's baby related or otherwise - my bleeding has not tailed off, like it supposedly should of and if anything it is worse now. Oh and it's gross and even when I had a confirmed infection, it wasn't gross so...I have a thumping headache too, which could be anything from the weather to not drinking enough but still, that was one of the main symptoms I had last time and I feel dizzy and I've started with chills and fever today, yes it is possible to have both btw. I've almost finished the antibiotics so it's not a good sign to not be back to almost 100%.

I am anaemic though, the blood test in Scotland told me as much and although no surprise, coupled with the bleeding, that could explain why I feel so crappy right now. Another thing to ask the Dr about when I see him about the above asap.

Also, my 2 boys had a school friend each over tonight, I could of done without it as I did not feel up to it and one of the friends was hard work, but yet again I'm expected to continue to throw myself back into life at 100 miles per hour. Combined with the other stuff, it's ended with me being seriously upset and pissed off tonight.

On a brighter note, registered Oliver's birth and all went smoothly as expected. Looking at the birth certificate with my name on it and knowing that will soon be a thing of the past was a bit strange but it means that things are moving forwards. Just as they should.

And I was fortunate enough to be shown yet more love from my message board friends, with another surprise gift popping through my letterbox. I am stunned by how generous they've been and how proud they are of my surrogacy journey - I'm definitely feeling very special tonight, the blues and bad mood can't spoil that particular feeling!